"...We Would Both Live Forever."

I wrote here a few months ago that I was more determined to live than I ever had been. The running, the sprinting hills, the insane workouts, the CPAP machine to treat my apnea, all of that is because I want to live.

Throughout all of that, my dog Roxanne has been with me. She was the main reason I would close the computer and go running, or head out to the woods. She was the main reason I lost 22 pounds.

Yesterday I took her to the vet and found out she had leukemia. The family made the hard decision last night, and we had our final moments this morning.

I don't really know how long I've had her, but I know I have been very blessed to have had her as long as I did.

Here are some of my favorite moments over the past year.

I could never tell her no.

"A noble spirt embiggens the smallest man."

At our favorite place, Juden Creek.

After a four mile hike at the Silver Mine

At Silver Mine over Labor Day

Jungle Dog!!!

Cheering on Kyle, Jordan, and myself during our Epic Marathon of Stairs

At the top of the rim of the Giant Hole, (which she climbed by herself)

Black Lab in the snow.

It's a good day to be a dog.

Watching me at Wet Weather Falls

Back porch during the winter. Josh thinks her flea collar looks like a Britney Spears mic

After this picture was taken, all of the international students had their pictures taken with Roxanne

There is in nature mutualistic symbiosis, where two organisms enjoy a relationship that benefits both, such as birds that peck meat from between the teeth of crocodiles. When I got Roxanne, she was entering the final stage of her live, as labs tend to live 12-14 years. There wasn't room for her at my sister's house as the other dogs were eating her food and she didn't have time to walk her.

From the time I got her until the very end, we were doing on average two miles a day. I took her to the woods, and she joined me in everything I did outside, as I found myself being more and more active. As a result, her life was extended well beyond the average lifespan to 17. My sister thinks she could have lived to 20 if not for the cancer. I dropped from 242 down to 220, and am sleeping much better. Our symbiosis has increased both of our lives in years and quality.

After we made the decision, I went on a two mile run. It was the first time I've run distance on my own. I figured if I could complete the run, I'd be better. I finished the run, but the goodbye was still very hard.

As I was running, I imagined her still setting the pace. I ran up a hill, and moved from beneath a street lamp's orange light into the dark street. I looked up and saw the belt of Orion, and Plieades shine through the night's dusky cloak, and remembered why I took up running in the first place.

Every step was made with purpose. Every breath, drawn with determination. Every movement made free from fear.

A few months ago when I was in the middle of triathlon training, Roxanne and I were out running. She just got back from the vet and had lost weight. I thought to her, "If I could give you my determination to live, we would both live forever."

Our final moments

How I'll always Remember You.