Creative Intensity: October 2009

If you've never spent the night in an RV in Kroger parking lot with a Norwegian, you're missing out.

More on that later.

Earlier this month I had one of those days at work that made me think I should find another line of work. The student I taught in the morning did absolutely nothing but make noises that make him sound like windshield wipers and cry because he said it was too hard to pick his pencil up the floor. Afterward I ended up working in the office until well after 11pm.

I get days like those, I believe we all do. And I do have to say, I enjoy my jobs. One does not teach special education for students who can't function in the normal classroom, or mentor youth in foster care unless one loves to do it, and I honestly do. Still, working as hard and as intensely as I do does cause me to run myself ragged. Serving 50 plus youth over a 150 mile radius with various needs has been impossible.

I thought it was time to update my resume. Instead of opening it up on my Mac, I ended up opening some of my writings I'm working on.

Some time not too long ago, I told myself...

"God never promised us a life free from failure, though He never intended for us to endure it. We experience failure because we have rebelled, we all have turned away. He promises us His presence, and is faithful to never forsake us. Our failures are to be evidence to us that we need God.

With that in mind, we can fail boldly! Knowing that our failures maybe colossal, God’s love and grace are so much more sufficient because He is sovereign. Our failures cannot in any way separate us from God for we are His heirs, not because we earned, but because of who God is..."

I read about how I played a filler set with Jason Harwell and Jon Black at a time when I had no clue where my life was going. I read about how I lay in disbelief of that I did that and ran across my copy of Francis Schaeffer's "Escape from Reason" which gave the Why I needed to live this insane life of mine. Dr. Schaeffer challenged me to learn how to speak meaningfully to my age. Which is why I write. Why I work. Why I make music.

I told myself:

" If not for failure we could never truly appreciate grace and receive love. Realizing this makes me all the more bold.
That having been said, I'm not afraid to fail."

I left the office with more energy than I did when I ran my triathlon, and ready to attack these challenges with renewed intensity. On my way out I thought back to a meeting I had that day with one of my clients/students, telling him that I found my job was impossible.

He disagreed, "Trust me man, you've been doing a good job."

I thanked him. As I left the office, I came to realize I had been doing the impossible for the better part of a year now.

I took a much needed break from my jobs, if only for a day to head down to Nashville. That brings us to this weekend. I attended Tom Jackson's Live Performance Bootcamp and Industry Showcase. Tom Jackson is THE authority when it comes to live music performance.

I had seen him at work before, and have his DVDs so to see him live in person again would be a much needed experience for me. I knew a lot of what he was teaching, but to hear it live in person, and after having applied almost all of his teachings and experiencing for myself how well they worked, made it so much more real.

Aside from Mr. Jackson teach how to connect with an audience and create moments on stage through music, I got to met some incredible people. One guy came all the way from Egypt. Another came from Norway, though currently was living out of an RV. I asked at if I could crash with him since Alex, my favorite Canadian, was out of town that weekend. HE said sure. He happened to be parked at Kroger's parking lot just a few blocks from the Soundstage where the workshop was. We ended up writing a song at 3AM in his RV. Quite a change for both of us because I typically don't co-write and he's written in white stone castles in Denmark. (Who doesn't)

One thing Tom Jackson told us is that we wait for the opportunity to come before we prepare. So when the opportunity finally does come, we can't make the most of it. I tell my students/clients all the time to do what they need to do when they need to do it, so when the times comes they'll be able to do what they want to do.

I came to realize I've been doing this for some time now. I've spent a great deal of time reading and studying, writing and working on music. Over the past year I've been working hard to establish myself in my day jobs, getting my finances in order, and getting in better physical condition.

Part of the preparation has been to learn how to be the best from the best. Learning from Tom Jackson in person made everything I remembered so much more real and substantial. Aside from learning way more information than I could possibly process in one setting, I got to see some very talented acts. One is going to be on a TV show with Ted Nugent, another was a family act who did the catchiest song ever that I found myself singing in Kroger at 6AM, another was a lady who wrote over 6000 songs, which I had the unenviable task of following to close out the night. THere almost wasn't enough time to fit me in, but thankfully the risk paid off. There are few things more unnerving than playing for a panel of industry experts and a room full of musicians.

I got one song and killed it. My performance was described as "Intense," "Charismatic," I was told in by one of the experts, I have a bright future and keep working. Most importantly, everyone left happy.

It's always good to see how far I've come and how much work I still have to do. That happened this time last year when I opened for Bill Mallonee to give Grace Cafe a grand send off.

I returned to Cape and went for a long hike, lost beneath the waving branches that were lit by autumn's flames.