"Autumn is the time of year, that I should like to meet you here
to find when you cross my face
To dream of what tomorrow may be despite what yesterday was
to have your company.
Can I wait, here with you?"
Jason Harwell, "Can I Wait?"
No season makes me feel more alive than the fall. Something about Autumn's flames
that ignite the trees that makes me realize that all the old is being ushered out in a glorious
display to bring in new life. While we have endure cold and darkness and barrenness,
it will come.
About a month ago I was playing my first wedding. I've been more than I can remember, but this was the first time I've been a wedding musician. I found that a little surprising as I have several friends and am a competent musician. As I talked with my friend who I played guitar for, I was reminded not much of life has gone according to plan.
This semester is one example. I have had not been able to cover my living expenses with the money coming in from work. While I am extremely grateful to have two jobs that I absolutely love, hours have been scant and it's been difficult when the red in my register overpowers the black. I had to close an account because the numbers were on the wrong side for too long. I haven't been able to pay my phone bill for a couple months now. I'm still not sure how I'm going to pay for seminary.
And I know I'm not alone in facing any uncertainty. A quick perusing of any news scroll, or a glance at a paper, or just a quick browsing of a facebook or twitter feed will tell you there's a great deal of unrest and restlessness in the world. From the famine in the Horn of Africa, to the financial crises in Greece, Ireland, Spain, USA, to the political unrest in the Middle East and former Soviet republics, it is easy to see the shadow.
Inspite of all this, I can't help but to find myself unflaggingly optimistic.
This doesn't mean that I bury my head in the sand, oblivious to my responsibilities, nor to the oppression in the world. It means I can work to fulfill my responsibilities and against the affliction knowing there's meaning behind it.
I know how the story ends and it ends well. It doesn't get a fairytale, happily ever after ending, but a very real closure into an eternal beginning. A beginning where heaven comes down to earth and all that is old is burned away ushering in a new glorious existence. A beginning where all wrongs are accounted for, and all rights are rewarded. A beginning where all tears and pain are gone, and there will be no more darkness. This beginning has been in the works since before the beginning of anything.
This gives backbone to my optimism. It's not an empty optimism that sugar coats the harshness of life now, or that whistles Dixie in the dark, but a very real promise of our best life in the world to come. No matter the difficulties now, they will resolve.
Jonathan Edwards once described this life as such, "Our good things can never be taken away. Our bad things are being used for our good, and our best things are still to come."
When I look at things from this perspective, things aren't so bad. I have two jobs that I absolutely love that use my gifts and strengths. I get to work with great people, who need what I can share with them. I'm in a relationship that's far better than any of my previous attempts and it gets richer every day.
And no matter what happens, everything's going to be okay. If I lose it all tomorrow, the sun will still rise. And if it doesn't then that new beginning all ready started.
"I'm sure forever never meant, that we just glide on till the end without some tragedies.
So let's just put our troubles down, and listen for the quiet sound of everlasting peace
Can I wait, here with you?"
Jason Harwell--Alive in the Fall
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