4AM...

"There's a fire in my soul"--Ridgely

4Am and I'm sitting in Waffle House by the St. Louis airport waiting for a 7am flight. I was at this Waffle House the first day of Urbana09 just before my tribe came in.

Victor Hugo just said to me, "The only spectacle greater than the sky is the interior of the soul."

Its humbling to look at the sky, especially at night. The psalmist tells us, "The heavens declare the glory of the Lord."

I dream of flying to the Pleiades. I long to soar through the supernovae. To delve the mysteries of dark matter.

It is nothing short of epic.

It would be devastating and dehumanizing to look into the sky and feel dwarfed without the knowledge that it was created by a loving God. As grand as the stars are, as brilliant and magnificent, and as immeasurable and vast and countless as they are, God still loves us more.

It was you and I created in His image, not the Orion Nebula.

It was us He chose to love, redeem, and sanctify not Eta Carina.

It is our souls that He binds together with an even tighter bond than the gravity that binds the Pleiades.

What deeper connection than two souls bound together in their Creator.

For the soul is that kindle of the imperishable Secret Fire ignited within us and love is the warmth and light that connection makes. As the great Bill Mallonee sings:

"Love's the little bit of God there for all to know.

Love's the everlasting arms, that never do let go."

It was in love that God promised us to reign with Him likes the stars above, and provided the means for us to do so, and that is by His own body and blood. His very own Son.

"To write the poem of the human consciousness," continues Hugo, "of one only man, even the most insignificant of men, would be to swallow up all epics in a superior and definitive epic."

Urbana09 Report Day 5: New Year

It's not every new year you get to celebrate it with 17,000 of your closest friends. It's cause for dancing. More on that later.

Unlike the prior posts, I let this one filter and process in me. Needless to say, I'm exhausted as

I've been operating on less sleep than usual. Thankfully the God who is our cause to rejoice is also

our comfort and rest.

I was excited yet sad for Urbana09 to be coming to its finale. This has been an incredible week of learning, re-learning, affirming, encouraging, challenging, and all the above and more. I love my Urbana Tribe and while I am sad to be parting from them for the time being, I am excited to learn what God will do through us until we graduate.

After sharing in some Imo's Pizza with some non-St.Louisians, (I had a conversation with a girl asking what folks from St.L called themselves. I answered 'Cardinals Fans.), and an impromptu hymn sing at a hotel lobby piano, I sat in the Arts and Mission session.

I've noticed we tend to relegate arts, imagination, creativity, to the periphery of our Faith, when the very first act God did was a grand work of art called the Cosmos. The lady who ran the seminar, Ms. Harris, was born in Alaska and had classical music training, and was working in the mission field in Siberia and wondered why her love of arts and mission were separate. Until she ended up using those to help the Yukut people of northern Siberia to worship in their own native Heart language.

I've wondered myself how my eclectic personality, chimerical range of interests, swiss army knife skills set, and randomness but God will not give me an interest or ability that He will not ultimately use to bring Glory to HImself. God is the great bridge builder. What we have separated and compartmentalize, He will fuse together in Him and none can sunder.

I attended a business seminary next about the integration of faith and work. God gave Adam a job before He gave him anything else. Work when done under the Lordship of Christ, is worship. We must work with intentionality and integrity.

THe main evening session was the exclamation point to the week. Alec Hill reminded us we can't wait. Sharing the Good News is the most important thing we can do for another. God will use seemingly random encounters, and the times when we don't expect anything, to be used in powerful ways that we cannot even imagine. Michael Oh, who is Korean, living as a missionary in Japan, reminded us Christ is the heart of reconciliation for all peoples who have ever wronged another.

Brenda Salter McNeil gave one of the most powerful messages I've ever heard. She spoke from John 4, the woman at the well. (I remember using that text a long time ago in young life where I used Tetris as my primary illustration.) I recommend watching the whole thing here http://www.urbana09.org/program.webcast.cfm

From the moment she came out on stage singing, "River of Life" until the end when she had us on our feet,

The Spirit was there. I can't do her message justice here but, in summary, God has moved into the neighborhood because things aren't right. Because we need Him to. As He has gone into our neighborhood, we are to go to others' and "We must go out in the power of God." she told us. Let the love and character of God flood out of us to everyone.

Too often I don't and I sit on what God has given me like a dragon hoarding treasure, and after everything, I thought "why?" I thought about all the things I wrestle with. I thought about my fears be they rational or irrational, my insecurities, my inadequacies, the personal gravity I battle against to get off my rear and do what I need to. I also thought about my strengths; everything from my left step through hook, to my songs, my writings, my photos, my teaching, etc. I wondered if the sum of my abilities can overcome the totality of my fears. I don't know.

Ultimately, it doesn't come down to whether or not I can harness my abilities to overcome my fears, but will I present them all to God and let Him to with them what He wants. Nothing God gives us is a waste. Nothing we do in him is useless.

After Brenda Salter McNeil's message we shared communion. I had to leave Urbana06 before communion to be at a youth lock-in. There's nothing greater than sitting at the Table with 17,000 brothers and sisters gathered in the presence of the Lord, especially in a time of celebration.

The Redeemed of the Lord will Say So as the new year turns

This was by far the greatest New Year I've ever celebrated. After communion there was an electrifying

Drama/Dance/Rap/Music/Rhythm/I don't know what else to call it that was one of the most creative performances

I've ever seen. It started with tap dancing and narration based on John 1, and told the story of creation,

incarnation, redemption, and even featured Indians doing their native dances in full dress. The worship

team led us in a few more songs until in the middle of "Say So" when we counted down, and welcomed in

The New Year. And the Children of the Living God, danced with new life in their feet.

As I think back at everything that's happened to me since the last Urbana, it's been quite a journey.

I remember Ajith Fernando telling us God is bringing about a new humanity, where every tribe, nation, tounge

will gather before the throne and worship. He is using us to bring about that new humanity. That was the beginning

of my escape from the limbo of my mid-twenties crisis. That same year, I spent some time at L'abri where

I confronted my cynicism, and briefly found Shelter. Later that summer, I returned home to Discipleship Focus

where God showed me the years prior were not me fouling up everything I did, but His gift to me

to prepare me for where He'll take me.

I've made other professional, personal, milestones since then such as working two great jobs as a

special education teacher and youth advocate, both of which were gifts from Him. I finished the album.

I've seen the boys in my youth group grow into outstanding adults, all of whom are still walking with the Lord.

As I left this Urbana, I prayed for myself what I've often asked others to pray. I prayed for more than the emotional high

or spiritual rush that usually accompanies such experiences. I've prayed for a deeper understanding

of who God is, who I am and a greater realization of how desperately dependent I must be on Him

for All Things.

If Christ can remove the stone that barred the grave, He can break the stone of my heart. He can

break the bonds of the oppressed. He can open the paths He wants me to walk.

Let us go together.

Urbana09 Report Day 4: Adventures on a Day Off

Prelude:

This morning began with more snow. I started talking with the man who drove the hotel shuttle driver. He loves the days it snows. He'll watch out for everyone who comes out of the hotel and asks if he can carry their luggage, or sweep the snow of their cars, or start their cars for them.

"I use every opportunity to make a good impression in the folks that come through here. It's more than just a tip now, if I do good they're going to tell their friends and family to stay here. I don't know why more of us who work here don't. I don't know why they don't see the big picture. "

Morning session

Part I: Invading Light

We were given the day off so to speak. That is the participants did not have any seminars to attend but were encouraged to spend the day thinking and processing and praying over the information overload that was thrown at us over the past few days.

It was a much needed change of pace.

In the morning Mr. Yorke Moore spoke about how there is an ebb and flow of times of darkness and times when God's invading light enters our lives. When we are first brought into our relationship with God, he brings us into a love relationship with Him, then to obedience.

We were also told that only Christ can stand at the Centerpoint of History. Not any other manmade or demonically inspired belief can stand at History, only Christ.

Part II: Adventures in Global Connexions.

I was walking through Global Connexions exhibit looking for free swag as well as some information to take home to some friends who couldn't be here. As I went toward the Center of Christian Thought, I was randomly asked by one of the exhibiters, "We'ren't you on young life staff at Windy Gap a few years ago?"

As soon as he asked, it clicked. His name was Matt and I was on staff in the kitchen when he was a volunteer. Matt was still a very young Christian at that point, for less than a semester if I remember correctly and he gave up his month of his summer for no pay to help feed a campfull of hungry teenagers.

We caught up, he told me he's helping with some college ministries as well as in seminary.

It's encouraging to see the fruits of your labors.

I kept wandering through the area and came across a ministry called "Reaching Indians Ministries International" That is folks from India, not First Nation American Indians. I really at first was only interested in the swag on the table, but when I told Ms. Astrid my name, she told me, "You are a man with a powerful voice."

This floored me, as I had just met her, unless she happened to have sat around me during any of the sessions and heard me sing. I had to ask, "How did you know?"

"It's in your name. Aaron was Moses' speaker."

We got to talking and I told her about my careers in special education and youth advocacy as well as interests in music and writing, and she prayed for me. I was incredibly grateful and amazed at how God uses these seemingly random encounters to reveal himself to us. As I was about to resume my wandering she told me,

"Get ready. Life's about to become a roller coaster."

I stopped again and told her, "I used to work on one of those."

"That was the physical one. The rest of your life will be one too very soon, so get ready."

I left the exhibition area with more fire in my steps than I had before.

Part III: The Arts Lounge

I'm going to summarize what Sunder Krishnan said in the main session, or what I got out of it, and that is to yield to God's sovereignty, and let Him use His creativity in us. In looking back at the Arts Lounge these pictures speak enough.

Part V: Broken Bread

Dinner was a unique experience as we were given a simple dinner of flatbread, beans, and about 2oz of water. We were asked to pray, as most of the world only gets to eat that, many even less. It makes one appreciate how good we have it, and how grateful we should be. We did this to eat and stand in solidarity with those who are suffering and impoverished.

No one at the table uttered a single complaint

Urbana09 Report Day 3: Reinforcement, Affirmation, and Challenge

As any good teacher will tell you, one thing we must do to ensure our students receive the knowledge they need is through reinforcement, and re-teaching. We can never reinforce our students enough, for ignorance is an enemy that does not retreat. That was yesterday. God was reteaching me of the importance of the Arts, and the need to bring justice to the oppressed. The two are not mutually exclusive of each other. God, who is sovereign over all will reconcile, that is bring into Harmony, all things to Himself.

As I teach and reteach, I am always sure to affirm my students when they do demonstrate understanding. That is to tell them, "Great work, now keep working."

Such was today.

Today former denomination took me to lunch, (as well as a several other students). Even though my late church died over five years ago, I still feel a strong bond with them, and it was good to connect with that body again.

Over lunch I had great conversation with another attendee who had some mutual friends and was pursuing the degree I want at the school I would like to attend.

It was encouraging.

I attended a "Serving God by Teaching in the Public Schools" seminar. I wasn't aware of it at first until it was pointed out to me last night. I thought, "That's what I should do, because that's what I'm doing!" As you can see it was a packed house, sitting room only. Somehow a few hundred managed to pack in there. Dr. Forrest Turpen of Christian Educators Association International described the public schools as being a closed country. And many people become Christians between ages of 4-14.

I can't remember the last thing I saw that was as encouraging as seeing that room full of teachers and soon to be teachers, who want to teach and make a difference.

Dr. Bill Ziegler also highlighted the laws about expression of religion in the public schools by students and teachers. There's so much bullshit and ignorance of the laws of what we can and can't do, it's revolting.

I've been teaching special education for the past three years, working with students who can't function in the normal classroom, and have been a youth advocate mentoring youth in foster care for the past year. I love both jobs, and though I get an extremely positive response when I tell people what I do, that's not the reason I do it.

I do it because it needs to be done.

I do it because I love it.

Sitting in on that session, I couldn't help but get the thinking to myself over and over, "Keep doing what you're doing."

Teachers, some present and some future who are

considering the public school as their mission field

There were several HUNDRED in that room.

As students begin to show mastery of what they have learned a good teacher will challenge them to expand their view, to think deeper, longer, at a problem with the skills they have obtained.

Afterward, I attended the "Musicians Living Fully in Christ" track, which members of the worship team discussed what it was like to be a musician. One of the most important points they made at the beginning was to be professional, and show up on time.

They also said to keep working at your music, build relationships, take care of your health, and most importantly, enjoy what you do.

I've made some great strides musically over the past year from releasing an album, leading some incredible worship times, ROCKING a showcase in front of my influences. And I know I still have a long way to go. It's going to be a challenge.

As I left, I the thought kept running around, "Keep going where you're going."

The main session speakers, Shane Claiborne and Oscar Miriu reinforced what we learned before,

encouraged us to keep doing the good we are and challenged us to take the church to the next level.

and encouraging at the same time, showing us new perspectives. 24,000 lives are lost a day to poverty

and hardship. Good intentions must be accompanied by the humility to keep our mouthes shut long enough to

hear what others need to tell us so we will see them as people, not as numbers in our programs.

As I discussed the day with the my newly adopted family group, I came to realize God who is the great teacher,

and our advocate has been reinforcing what I learned in the years since Urbana06, encouraged me to keep

striving in my jobs, and keep going in my pursuit of music, writing, art, education, missions, and everything else He's given

me an interest/passion in.

"Keep doing what you're doing.

Keep going where you're going.

Just as I've been with you so far,

So I will continue to be with you."

Urbana09 Report Days 0-1

It hasn't felt like three years since the last Urbana Student Missions Conference. A lot has happened to me since then. It's happened so fast I haven't had time to catch my breath.

If you have no clue what I'm talking about go to http://urbana09.org or follow us on twitter http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23Urbana09

There are over 17,000 of us here.

Yesterday was a perfect day. I spent Christmas at my sister's and her kids are getting big. The day before Urbana started, I headed for the America's Center to help set up the IV Press bookstore. This mainly entailed throwing boxes packed with books off of a pallet onto a dolley then to a table in order of the big numbers written on it. Sounds exciting, I know it does. I found myself working with much higher spirits than I have at my own jobs for a long time.

Afterward we went through formalities then I met up with Joe for a walk through the city garden at night, then we hit the Schafly taproom. After a long day of preparation, beer, burgers, and friends was the perfect ending.

I've been assigned as a hotel liaison which I basically hang around and answer questions the Urbana participants may have as well as make sure they eat and get on their bus, and get back.

I've found myself in the nicest room I've ever stayed in at the Renaissance airport hotel, though I haven't been in it much to enjoy it.

I woke up to see the fallen snow cover the city.

I spent today hanging out in the lobby welcoming people who came in and telling them where to go, what to do, how to get there. I got little opportunities to serve people who though I wasn't assigned to serve, still did, such as giving hot chocolate to cold travelers, and making conversation to people as they waited.

This evening was the main session. The theme and text are taken from John 1:14, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

We were told this verse contains the means, the message, and the model by which we are to take the Gospel into the world. There was a great illustration of how Father Simon would reach people. He built his church over a former garbage dump. He went to the pig sties where the people he was trying to reach would hide from him. He'd get in there, sinking his boots into the filth. He lit a torch, searching for them as they hid. Once he found them, he would take them by the hand and kiss their hand and their head, and if after all that they would still reject them, he'd put shoes on their feet.

Let's not be afraid to walk through the mud.

Jim Trebbe, Urbana president told us, "Let go of your expectations and let God be God."

That having been said, I'm excited for tomorrow.