Urbana09 Final Thoughts: Forgotten Legacy

"Everything turns to dust. Legacy lives forever."

Jens Pulver

Some folks think 9 degrees is too cold to go for a morning run. I laugh at such thoughts.

The frigid air circling in my pipes awakened my lungs like water in the face. The snow scrunched under my feet, making the pounding in my knees and ankles much easier. The sun shone upon the snow between the shadows of naked trees with a blinding magnesium brightness.

As I approached the steepest, longest hill, I laughed to myself and thought; "It'll take more than this to keep me from running."

It's been a week since Urbana09 ended and I've found myself wrestling with the thoughts I had before and the thoughts I had after.

Before Urbana09 I found myself watching some interviews with the first UFC LIghtweight Champion Jens Pulver. I heard him talk about what drives him, what sort of legacy he will leave, as well as how he fights daily with anxiety and depression. This man has overcome a childhood that he describes as a "daily hell." At one point his alcoholic father lined him and his brothers up and pointed a loaded shotgun in his face before telling him, "You're not worth the shells."

Since then he has become a legend and pioneer in the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. Now as he comes to the end of his fighting career, he has opened up his own gym in his home town that he also wants to use as center for troubled youth and battered women.

Mr. Pulver is driven. I remember watching his five round war with Urijah Faber for the Featherweight Championship that had me on my feet all five rounds. That hooked my interest back in the sport, which was a major catalyst in me getting off my ass and working out again. Pulver says in an interview, "It's all about legacy," and asks what kind of world will we leave our kids?

Urijah Faber (R) vs. Jens Pulver (L)

I came to realize a little over three years ago that I have a legacy, and this is when I was mired in my mid-twenties crisis. And it's not that I ever became a youth pastor, teacher, or young life staffer with the intention of building a legacy, but is a testament as to who God is and His faithfulness. And I thought if I never accomplish anything else I will be content.

I am as driven and determined now as I ever have been. I've accomplished more this year than I thought I could. It's not due to my talent, drive, work ethic, intensity, or any of those, it's because God is at work inspiring both the will and the deed according to His glorious purpose.

I wasn't as big a fan of Mr. Pulver until I learned his story. Now I'll watch his fights, highlights, and interviews before I workout.

Colin Harbinson told us the more a story moves us, the more we want to live in it, and the more it lives in us.

The story; and by story I mean the idea of metanarrative, that is the grand epic narrative that is greater than us and we live by, is that "The Word has become flesh and dwelt among us. We have seen His glory, full of grace and truth"

"the Light has entered the world but the darkness did not overcome it"

It's a humbling thought that God became a man. That what is invisible became visible. What is intangible, became tangible. What is divine became human, lived, breathed, drank, ate, and defecated so that we can become one. Ramez Atallah calls this the means, message, and the model by which we are to live.

My mentor, Will Wyatt loves to tell us that God invites us to walk beside Him. All that God the

Father has promised Christ, He'll share with us; God wants to share His very existence with us.

As we do, He'll bring people beside us who we will point back to Him. As we do we will learn to trust

God with more sooner, and run to His altar all the faster.

I'm convinced when we bow to Christ as Lord in all things, He incarnates Himself in us, everything

that happens to us will be for His glory and for our benefit. For it is only by the grace of God are we

able to do anything for the glory of God.

This is our hope. Not is Washington DC. Not in Wall Street but in the God who put on skin, entered

our reality, moved into the neighborhood so that we can know us and He can live in us.

Patrick Fung told us to live to be forgotten so that Christ can be made visible. When we live to

make Christ known, He will raise us up as He sees fit. Our ultimate reward is not to have pages written

about us in history books so we have the applause of men, but in the Lamb's Book of Life where God tells us

"Well done!" For there are none anonymous to God.

I can think of no greater legacy than to live under the sovereignty of God and let Him raise me up in His own way.

Urbana09 Report Day 5: New Year

It's not every new year you get to celebrate it with 17,000 of your closest friends. It's cause for dancing. More on that later.

Unlike the prior posts, I let this one filter and process in me. Needless to say, I'm exhausted as

I've been operating on less sleep than usual. Thankfully the God who is our cause to rejoice is also

our comfort and rest.

I was excited yet sad for Urbana09 to be coming to its finale. This has been an incredible week of learning, re-learning, affirming, encouraging, challenging, and all the above and more. I love my Urbana Tribe and while I am sad to be parting from them for the time being, I am excited to learn what God will do through us until we graduate.

After sharing in some Imo's Pizza with some non-St.Louisians, (I had a conversation with a girl asking what folks from St.L called themselves. I answered 'Cardinals Fans.), and an impromptu hymn sing at a hotel lobby piano, I sat in the Arts and Mission session.

I've noticed we tend to relegate arts, imagination, creativity, to the periphery of our Faith, when the very first act God did was a grand work of art called the Cosmos. The lady who ran the seminar, Ms. Harris, was born in Alaska and had classical music training, and was working in the mission field in Siberia and wondered why her love of arts and mission were separate. Until she ended up using those to help the Yukut people of northern Siberia to worship in their own native Heart language.

I've wondered myself how my eclectic personality, chimerical range of interests, swiss army knife skills set, and randomness but God will not give me an interest or ability that He will not ultimately use to bring Glory to HImself. God is the great bridge builder. What we have separated and compartmentalize, He will fuse together in Him and none can sunder.

I attended a business seminary next about the integration of faith and work. God gave Adam a job before He gave him anything else. Work when done under the Lordship of Christ, is worship. We must work with intentionality and integrity.

THe main evening session was the exclamation point to the week. Alec Hill reminded us we can't wait. Sharing the Good News is the most important thing we can do for another. God will use seemingly random encounters, and the times when we don't expect anything, to be used in powerful ways that we cannot even imagine. Michael Oh, who is Korean, living as a missionary in Japan, reminded us Christ is the heart of reconciliation for all peoples who have ever wronged another.

Brenda Salter McNeil gave one of the most powerful messages I've ever heard. She spoke from John 4, the woman at the well. (I remember using that text a long time ago in young life where I used Tetris as my primary illustration.) I recommend watching the whole thing here http://www.urbana09.org/program.webcast.cfm

From the moment she came out on stage singing, "River of Life" until the end when she had us on our feet,

The Spirit was there. I can't do her message justice here but, in summary, God has moved into the neighborhood because things aren't right. Because we need Him to. As He has gone into our neighborhood, we are to go to others' and "We must go out in the power of God." she told us. Let the love and character of God flood out of us to everyone.

Too often I don't and I sit on what God has given me like a dragon hoarding treasure, and after everything, I thought "why?" I thought about all the things I wrestle with. I thought about my fears be they rational or irrational, my insecurities, my inadequacies, the personal gravity I battle against to get off my rear and do what I need to. I also thought about my strengths; everything from my left step through hook, to my songs, my writings, my photos, my teaching, etc. I wondered if the sum of my abilities can overcome the totality of my fears. I don't know.

Ultimately, it doesn't come down to whether or not I can harness my abilities to overcome my fears, but will I present them all to God and let Him to with them what He wants. Nothing God gives us is a waste. Nothing we do in him is useless.

After Brenda Salter McNeil's message we shared communion. I had to leave Urbana06 before communion to be at a youth lock-in. There's nothing greater than sitting at the Table with 17,000 brothers and sisters gathered in the presence of the Lord, especially in a time of celebration.

The Redeemed of the Lord will Say So as the new year turns

This was by far the greatest New Year I've ever celebrated. After communion there was an electrifying

Drama/Dance/Rap/Music/Rhythm/I don't know what else to call it that was one of the most creative performances

I've ever seen. It started with tap dancing and narration based on John 1, and told the story of creation,

incarnation, redemption, and even featured Indians doing their native dances in full dress. The worship

team led us in a few more songs until in the middle of "Say So" when we counted down, and welcomed in

The New Year. And the Children of the Living God, danced with new life in their feet.

As I think back at everything that's happened to me since the last Urbana, it's been quite a journey.

I remember Ajith Fernando telling us God is bringing about a new humanity, where every tribe, nation, tounge

will gather before the throne and worship. He is using us to bring about that new humanity. That was the beginning

of my escape from the limbo of my mid-twenties crisis. That same year, I spent some time at L'abri where

I confronted my cynicism, and briefly found Shelter. Later that summer, I returned home to Discipleship Focus

where God showed me the years prior were not me fouling up everything I did, but His gift to me

to prepare me for where He'll take me.

I've made other professional, personal, milestones since then such as working two great jobs as a

special education teacher and youth advocate, both of which were gifts from Him. I finished the album.

I've seen the boys in my youth group grow into outstanding adults, all of whom are still walking with the Lord.

As I left this Urbana, I prayed for myself what I've often asked others to pray. I prayed for more than the emotional high

or spiritual rush that usually accompanies such experiences. I've prayed for a deeper understanding

of who God is, who I am and a greater realization of how desperately dependent I must be on Him

for All Things.

If Christ can remove the stone that barred the grave, He can break the stone of my heart. He can

break the bonds of the oppressed. He can open the paths He wants me to walk.

Let us go together.